GBV: How Victims Turn ‘Messiahs’, Saviours of Assaulted, Abused Widows, Vulnerables

Fawaz Adebisi

“I slept on the street for 12 years from age 10, got stabbed, and abused. Friends got raped and beaten, I was nearly killed,” Mr Balogun Israel, a survivor of Gender Based Violence and Founder of AKHIN foundation shared.

As a kid, Mr Israel experienced torture from both his family and friends, especially ones he got on the street.

Mr Israel displaying where he was stabbed as a kid

“My father married four wives and had 8 children but he couldn’t feed us, the torture was much that I became homeless at age ten, had to struggle to fend for myself,” he bitterly narrated.

However, instead of being overwhelmed and derailed by the challenges he faced, Mr Israel rose and founded AKHIN foundation which, according to him, has helped over 70 homeless youngsters and vulnerable children since the last 5 years.

“Although I couldn’t read at age 22, I struggled to sponsor myself to school. I worked as a bike rider, taxi driver and bus conductor, and I successfully graduated with a masters degree in behavioural medication and career counselling from University of Ibadan.

“I then started my programme in 2019, and right now, we have centres at Ogun state (Ibafo), Oyo State (oyo town), Osun State (okuku),and I’m sure that within a year, the foundation will put an end to homelessness in these regions,” Mr Israel said.

This reporter therefore writes on how Nigerians, who have been victims of GBV survived their trials, turning their challenges to power to rescue widows, and people who are vulnerable, including children and women, from assault, abuse and violence.

I Was Raped, Maltreated In My Marriage — Esther Life Kingdom Foundation Founder

“My husband started to hate me after I told him my secret of being raped by armed robbers at age 22. He turned me to a useless being in the house and would would always beat me, rape me whenever he wishes,” another survivor, and founder of Esther Life Kingdom Foundation, Mrs Esther Abiola narrated.

“He would pour hot water and cold water on me whenever he’s angry. He cut off my friends and family, asked me to stop my job and would take the back the key of the shop he got me whenever he’s angry,” Mrs Abiola said, adding that “I had to beg him to buy pants for me whenever I need them.”

For over 13 years, this was how Mrs Abiola lived in her marriage, enduring the pain and torture.

But, eventually, with family support, she escaped her marriage with three kids, which she had to ‘now’ singlehandedly cater for.

“Because I have experienced the real struggle that affects every aspect of a woman’s life, especially one who has been raped or abused, I sincerely don’t want any lady or woman in that rump,” she stressed.

She therefore said revealed that her experience led to the setting up of her organization which “aims to equip the vulnerables with tools to protect themselves from rape and domestic violence, as well as give hope to victims.”

Mrs Abiola training kids on how to protect themselves from GBV

Therefore, in her words, since the establishment of Abiola Life Kingdom Foundation, it had held trainings for over 4,000 Nigerians across the country, covering over six states including Imo, Bayelsa, Oyo, Ekiti, Ondo, Ogun and Lagos State.

Mrs Abiola at a programme organized by private schools in Ikorodu

“I realized children should be also saved from their parents”

Barr Toyin Ojo, founder of Stop The Abuse Against Women and Children Foundation

“As a five years old girl, I was sexually molested by an adult and that, which I never spoke to any one of until I was thirty -six years old,” recounted another survivor and founder of Stop The Abuse Against Women and Children Foundation, Barr Toyin Ojo.

Giving reason she’s much interested in saving children, she stressed that her experience as a five years old girl pushed her into taking such a decision.

“Recently, we saved a boy called Promise, who almost died at the hands of his mother. Seeing this, it was then I realized that these children also need to be protected from their parents,” Barr Ojo said.

According to her, Promise’s mother stabbed her 16-year old boy, almost at the lung, with a knife.

“This is because Promise allegedly molested a small girl and was reported to his mother,” she stressed.

Also, she recalled an incident which involved a girl who was eleven years and was impregnated by her pastor in Benin, Edo State.

She stressed that there little girl could not give birth all by herself and she had to undrgo Cesarean section, CS, which is to give birth through a cut (incision) made in the mother’s abdomen and uterus.

“If not for the fact that we intervened, the little girl would have died,” she uttered.

She also gave accounts of cases involving men as victims.

She said, “we have men whose wives beat them, or stalk them in a form of abuse. We also have cases where men are being denied of seeing their children, which is also a form of GBV.”

“They saved our lives, They are our Messiahs” 

“My husband will always beat me and maltreat me. For 7 years, I suffered abusive marriage, it got to a point that my ex-husband asked me to stop working,” Mrs Oluwaseun Orekoya, a victim of GBV and beneficiary of Stop The Abuse Against Women and Children Foundation narrated.

Mrs Oluwaseun Orekoya

To keep her marriage, she tried to push further, however, her efforts proved abortive as she was eventually thrown out of the house, not being allowed to take her kids.

Combining her bitter experience with the pain of not seeing her kids for three years, she decided to reach out the foundation through her husband’s aunt.

“They helped get my kids back, they were there for me through it all—physically, mentally, and even financially sometimes,” she said, her voice trembling with gratitude.

She added that “meeting the foundation was worth it. The feeling of knowing that people have got your back can never be replaced with anything.”

In the same vein, Mrs. Okolie Hannah, a mother of four in Lagos State, who found herself thrust into turmoil after the sudden death of her husband, shared her story.

Mrs. Okolie Hannah

“It all started after the death of my husband, immediately after his death, my in-laws, including the mother of my husband maltreated and chased me and my wives away,” she bitterly said.

With four kids, including a set of twins, she was thrown into the streets, but because her husband was a billionaire, she decided not to beg on the street, rather, she stood to fight for her right.

Contacting the Stop The Abuse Against Women And Children Foundation was a decision that turned her life around.

“It’s by the mercy of God that I was able to get in contact with this foundation,” she reflected, her voice filled with reverence.

She added that “if not for their help, I’m won’t still be alive today.”

Lagos experience significant decrease in GBV cases — Data

Taking one of the states these non-governmental organizations, NGOs are based in, Lagos, it was gathered that only a few cases were recorded for the year 2023, compared to previous years.

In 2021, a report by the state’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, DSVRT disclosed that from May 2019 till August 26th 2021, there were 10,007 GBV cases in the state.

As of 2022, the Lagos State women’s Affairs Ministry released a report, revealing a significant decrease in numbers as there were 4,351 reported cases of GBV between the 1st of January and 31st of November 2022.

However, there was a slight increase in 2023, the DSVA of Lagos State received a total of 5,624 GBV cases from August 1, 2022, to July 2023.

Infographics showing number of recorded GBV cases in Lagos in the last three years

But, an advocacy group on gender equality, Invictus Africa, in partnership with BudgIT Foundation released a ‘womanity index’ report, ranking states with more GBV cases.

According to the report, Lagos was ranked number 1 in the prevention and response to GBV in the country.

This shows the fall in consistent cases in the state as a result of individuals coming up to fight against GBV.

We lack support, funding — NGOs

These NGOs, dedicated to combating GBV and supporting vulnerable populations in Nigeria, have expressed significant challenges due to a lack of support and funding.

“Getting people to volunteer is a major issue. All virtual training are free, however, everything lies on funding. Most people can’t work without paying.

“We cannot over-emphasized the place of education and awareness. We still have a lot to do! Though, it is getting better.

“Rural education is necessary. Many of them don’t have access to the internet and I tell you, the gender-based atrocities in those places are high,” Mrs Abiola, stressed.

Echoing her voice, funding shortages also emerged as a critical issue affecting the operations of AKHIN foundation as highlighted by Mr Israel.

According to him, the rising food prices in the country has negative impact on their ability to provide essential services such as shelter and feeding for homeless individuals.

“Short of fund is really affecting us, we are facing short of funding because of the rice of price in food item, and our work is mainly to provide shelter and feeding for the homeless,” he said

Although she’s facing similar problem, Barr Ojo stressed the importance of equipping the police with necessary tool so as to aid quick interventions in GBV matters.

According to her, Stop The Abuse Against Women and Children Foundation has to provide financial support to the Nigerian police, including funding for transportation and legal proceedings to solve GBV cases.

“I intervene in GBV matters collaborating with security operatives especially the Nigerian policez that’s how ee verify if stories are true.

“But the problem is funding, we fuel their vehicles for police to pick suspects we report, if we don’t find, they won’t work, because they also lack funding,” she said, adding that “we provide funds to take suspects to court too.”

They therefore urged the government to prioritize the needs of survivors in the justice system.

This story was supported by the African Change Stories Narrative